Lanny McDonald

Height: 6-3

Weight: 205 lbs

Age: 37

Position: Missionary

 

Flames Comparison

Jim the Zamboni Driver (from the Corral)

 

Background

A veteran of the first Heckle, Lanny returns larger than life. No, really, he’s packed on a few more pounds and is going to be spilling over the belt in his hockey pants. Lanny started life as a goaltender (which explains a lot) but found as he neared his late teens that it just wasn’t where he want to be. He decided that having guys fire 90 mile an hour pucks at his nuts was not his bag. Instead he decided that having guys throw 90 mile an hour fastballs at his melon was more his speed. After a short baseball career Lanny decided that a real job awaited, and took to the IT industry with the same reckless abandon he showed as an athlete, and has achieved almost as much success! EToyz.com? That was Lanny’s baby!

Strengths

Lanny brings many strengths to the rink, but the one that stand out most is, his playing partner. Lanny looks forward to another game of covering CP’s ass in the neutral zone. Of course CP will be covering Lanny’s ass everywhere else (except the shower this year CP, that’s how rumors start). The one strength Lanny does bring with him to the rink is an ability to carry a whole whack of stuff in one trip (equipment, beer, trophies, etc.). He’s known as "the mule" around the arenas in town. Oh wait, that’s wrong. Lanny is known as "the jackass" around the arenas in town. Same animal, different terminology.

Weaknesses

Bacardi and coke with a twist of lime (several), followed by a 20 ounce rare filet mignon, stuffed potato and a side of button mushrooms sautéed in garlic and butter.

Potential

Lanny could lead the team in several statistical categories on the team. Look for him to be a leader in the areas of; Biggest Minus Rating, Most Giveaways, Most Penalty Minutes, Most Beer Spilled in an Accidental Fashion, and Most Number of Flamingos by a Non-Water Foul.